New Mom: Public Enemy Number One – Elmo!

Let me be crystal clear about one thing. ELMO. I HATE him. New Girl doesn’t watch TV, expect for on a few occasion when she is sick. She’s never seen Sesame Street or Elmo’s World, or anything of the like. But three months ago we went to one birthday party that had an inflatable Elmo, and it was like crack for babies. She couldn’t stop staring and saying his name. Now she has noticed (as have I), all of a sudden, that Elmo is on her diapers, her band-aid from the doctor, her friend’s mother’s key chain. She even noticed the Elmo books that had been a gift at a baby shower and which I thought I had tossed aside. She wants me to read them to her every night.

Part of my problem is the simple fact that she has developed a completely unnatural attraction to something that has never done anything for her. He never spoke to her, did any tricks, or cuddled her in a time of need. Just standing there at a birthday party was enough to get her hooked. My other big problem is that this character created for supposedly non-commercial public television, which I had always believed was at least committed to the best interest of children and education, is the biggest commercial force there is. You have to actually go out of your way to buy diapers, band-aids, sippy cups, birthday decorations, and the like, WITHOUT Elmo on them. And the books are the antithesis of educational material. They are everything an early educator would warn you about, with no rhyme, no rhythm, no story, terrible illustrations — and they are, in fact, just an ad for more Sesame Street characters.

I know I could switch diaper brands, ask the pediatrician for plain bandages, and throw away the books, but New Girl, whose diaper’s have never leaked, who doesn’t cry when she gets her shots, and who loves the bus on page 6 of Elmo’s Guessing Game About Colors, hasn’t done anything wrong in loving the red fuzzy guy. So I ask, what’s a parent to do?

NewMom: Supernanny

I hate to admit it, but I’ve become a Supernanny fan. NewDad was a fan even before we had kids. It always struck me as odd because he hates most junk TV, but now he has me hooked. I am fascinated by the most outrageous behaviors among children and their parents. Often you can tell little JoJo is facing an overworked Mom and a frustrated or distant Dad. How that manifests itself may be different each time, but it’s the typical scenario.

Recently, however, the show featured a family with six children and the most emotionally detached mother I have ever seen. Dad seemed willing to give things a try, but you had to wonder why this Mom ever even agreed to do the show (do they pay these families?), let alone have six children. She couldn’t even bring herself to hug her 13-year-old daughter. I know it’s just TV, but that’s actually the depraved beauty of it. It gives us all free license to criticize, analyze, and judge someone else’s parenting skills, or lack thereof. NewGirl’s too young to do anything that would merit a trip to the “Naughty Chair,” but I’m going to keep watching Supernanny anyway. It’s a great ego boost and makes me feel that Mother of the Year may not be that far out of reach for the rest of us after all.

ModernMom: Recall Fatigue

Am I the only one with recall fatigue? Yet another toy recall announced, and I’m just not sure how much I can care anymore. The first big recall was announced, and I checked our house for all the products on the list. Miraculously, I found none. The second recall notice came, and a little less frazzled, I did a quick survey. After all, my kids are beyond the stage of mouthing their toys. Now a third recall, and I barely have the wherewithal to care. It’s terrible, I know. My children’s safety really does come first. But is anyone else finding the sheer volume of recall announcements somewhat numbing?

CommuterMom: Entertainment

A study was released stating that children 8 – 16 months who watch videos such as “Baby Einstein” and “Brainy Baby” have a smaller vocabulary. 6 – 8 fewer words than children who don’t.

I thought CommuterGirl was doing really well with her vocabulary. Have I stunted her development by turning on PBS for 20 minutes in the mornings while we lounge in bed in the mornings? (By they way, don’t get the wrong idea. I don’t have a lot of time to lounge…CommuterGirl wakes up really early!) We don’t use a lot of videos -- we haven’t bought them. I find it’s easier to just turn on public television. But sometimes I do need the help entertaining my toddler. I don’t plop her in front of the TV for hours, and I’m usually watching shows with her. So, why do I still feel like I need to make excuses?

NewMom: Who’s Raising Your Children?

I just read this on The Washington Post’s On Balance Blog and I just can’t get it out of my mind. The author writes about the ability of herself and a former colleague to stay connected to and supportive of each other despite the fact the one chose to become a stay at home Mom while the other returned to work with the support of child care. That’s wonderful. I have lots of other friends who have lost touch when one decided to leave the workforce after having a child, so it’s really nice they were able to overcome that difference and to be supportive and respectful of the other’s choice.

But the author, who is the Working Mom in this case, talks about working motherhood in some of the most offensive terms. I won’t go into detail about her use of the term full-time Mom to describe stay at home Moms – Modern Mom did that very eloquently already. But her reference to the fact that someone else is "raising your child" because they're in child care strikes me as naïve and truly unfortunate if, as a parent with children in child care, you truly feel that way.

I know my world will turn inside out and upside down when NewGirl is here and starts child care. I’m sure it will be hard on her and on me. But I can’t help but feel, now at least, that choosing child care is one of the decisions I will make in raising MY OWN child. I hope that NewGirl’s teachers will love my child. I hope they will serve as a resource for me as a novice parent. I hope they will be able to give me insight into her development and growth. But I don’t expect them to raise her – to build her foundation of morals and values, to make decisions about her future, to teach her about her heritage, religion and family background, or to establish the simple traditions that will make us our own special family.

I suppose my feelings on this are really just speculation until I go through it all myself, but what do those of you who already have your children in child care think? Do you feel like someone else is “raising your child?”